The universe is full of wonders, and the plant world isn't an exception. Some of the green pets developed interesting appearances and fascinating behaviors throughout evolution. One might even go as far as to call some of them suggestive. Rude-looking plants mimic some of the more private parts of human beings, though this is undoubtedly not their intention! From their shapes to cheeky Latin names, some plants just can't help themselves but look a bit rude.
List of Most Rude-Looking Plants
Some plants may naturally attract more attention because of their beauty or aroma, and some are entertainingly relatable to human anatomy. Prepare to be impressed at the diversity Mother Nature has made in the plant world.
Plants That Look Similar to Private Parts
There is a spectrum of rude-looking plants, and high at the top are plants that look alarmingly alike to human's private areas. Here are some rude plants to admire:
Hairy Balls (Gomphocarpus physocarpus)
Not so cleverly named, this plant features 'hairs' on a balloon or ball-shaped seed pods. These plants are in the milkweed family, a favorite food of many butterflies, especially the monarch butterfly.
Penis Pepper Plant, AKA "Peter Pepper" (Capsicum annuum var. annuum)
Take your gardening to the next level in both flavor and appearance by growing the very suggestive Penis Pepper Plant. One glance at this pepper, and you will have no questions regarding its name!
Corpse Flower (Amorphophallus titanium)
With the Latin name translating to 'giant misshapen penis,' you'll find this plant not only looks rude but smells pretty offensive, too. Due to its rarity in the wild and large size, it is a big deal to witness this plant flower. Putting out a large, putrid-smelling flower requires a lot of energy. Blooming is often recorded or live-streamed when it occurs in botanical gardens, such as the United States Botanical Garden.
Flowers That Look Similar to Body Parts
Flowering plants are often used ornamentally for their beauty, the fruit they bear, or simply because they add a bit of visual spice to your life. The latter is especially true if you decide to grow plants from the list below:
Butterfly pea (Clitoria ternatea)
This plant is also known as the vagina plant, which, as the Latin name suggests, is because the flowers feature a prominent clitoris-like protrusion. As if flowers weren't already euphemistic enough!
Hanging Naked Man Plant (Orchis italica)
Orchids are known for their mimicry ability, though we're curious where this orchid learned to mimic a well-endowed, naked hanging man. From afar, you might not realize the impressiveness of this plant's flower, but a closer look will reveal not one but many tiny, naked men hanging off the flowering stalk. It's very common for plants to have their usefulness based on their appearance, and in their native land of Italy, some believe consumption of the plant can increase virility.
Lipstick Plant (Psychotria elata)
Perhaps the least suggestive plant on this list, but quite visually striking (and maybe confusing), is the lipstick plant. The plant's bright red bracts (not technically flowers, but close enough) form the shape of puckered lips, ready for a kiss. Unfortunately, the plant's flower is much less impressive than its bracts and is less likely to get the same attention.
Vanilla Bean Orchid (Vanilla plantifolia)
An economically useful plant, the vanilla bean orchid flower also looks a bit like an orchid vagina. Vanilla is considered an aphrodisiac, and even the name 'vanilla' comes from the Latin 'vagina,' referring to the pod the plant grows.
Rude Shaped Cactuses and Succulents
Cacti and succulents already look very different from their foliage-based counterparts. These rudely shaped cacti and succulents may inspire a bit of awe in their weirdness and uncanny likeness to some body parts.
Titty Cactus (Myrtillocactus geometrizans)
Whoever named this plant didn't think twice! These cacti look like any other member of the cacti family, but with boobs hanging off them in every direction. This plant is having its moment in the sun, with everyone clamoring to get their very own ‘boobie cactus’ to love and care for.
Lithops (Lithops ruschiorum)
Commonly called 'living stones,' these plants are affectionately called 'butts' because, well, they resemble little butts! Not only are they sure to get some smiles, but they're probably going to bring about some questions, too, especially when they grow and one butt gives way to another smaller butt.
Old Man of the Mountain Cactus (Oreocereus trollii)
Here we have one of many examples of a penis-shaped cactus available to the world courtesy of the plant kingdom. Not only is this particular cactus phallic shaped, but it also appears to be 'hairy.' This 'hair' isn't just for looks and laughs, but it aids in shielding the plant from sun damage and frost in its high-altitude native climate.
Rude Plants With Dirty Names
A rude name doesn't always translate to a rude plant! Some green pets got their names back when they were used medicinally. However, others' names are more on the nose of the plant's unfortunate morphology.
Below are a few examples:
Nipplewort (Lapsana communis)
These plants' emerging flower buds do resemble nipples. People believed that the plant would help with chapped or sore nipples of breastfeeding mothers.
Stiffcock (Diospyros crassenevis)
This plant isn't named for its appearance but rather for what it can do. In some cultures, such as the Lucayan Archipelago peoples', the tea of the stiffcock plant is believed to raise male virility.
Stinking Willie (Trillium erectum)
This plant's common name is a better indicator of its rudeness than its Latin name, with erectum referring to the upright stem of the flower. Upon flowering, Stinking Willie produces a putrid smell to attract its pollinators, carrion flies and beetles, which often feast upon the dead and decaying matter.
FAQ
What Is the Coolest-Looking Plant?
Coolness, much like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. However, some objectively very interesting-looking plants are a variety of venus flytraps and pitcher plants, purple passionflower (Passiflora incarnata), trachyandra, and corkscrew grass plants.
What Is the Scariest-Looking Plant?
White baneberey, or Doll's Eyes (Actaea pachypoda) are a sight to see, and you might wonder if they see you too! These plants look like small, white doll's eyes scattered across the bright red stems.
What Is the Craziest Plant?
Many plants have their crazy evolutionary stories and adaptations, but one that is not well known is called 'Welwitschia.' It earns its crazy status because it grows in the resource-barren desert and has the longest-lived leaves in the whole plant kingdom. It has only two leaves that grow indefinitely.
